People do some stupid stuff that gets them fired like, not coming to work, stealing, taking too long a break, cussing out your boss, you know stupid shit. So as a person who has fired many people I am going to get real with you on Termination Thursday.
Top 10 Ways to know you might get fired:
10 - You the only one in the office that punches a clock.
9 - Your job routinely involves someone asking you “can you please go get me a…”
8 - You routinely tell your friends “Fuck that job! I can get another one…”
7 - You think they REALLY need you but you went on vacation for 3 weeks, you came back and the shit was better
6 - They hire you an assistant to train but you are never busy
5 - You have been there a year and you are still a temp
4 - You are the only one in the office who’s school initials end in “-CC”
3 - You are late to work, EVERYDAY!
2 - Your school has a commercial that comes on during Judge Mathis
1 - You work in a position where you refer to your boss as “Mr./Mrs. ‘First name’…” (i.e this is my boss Miss Kathy)
Stupid people get fired, smart people get LAID OFF. Only one can you control. See I have been known to fire a bitch while I was on vacation because I am not your friend, I am your employer or an agent thereof. So in business it is a little different than that other shit, it is like … uh we work together you are not my friend... I don’t want to see your alien looking kids or hear your problems because I will tell everyone I know. I don’t mix friends and work just like I don’t mix my food when I eat, each is separate.
One way to tell you may be the one on the chopping block is spotting easy shit like this:
Worker 1: “Hey Buddy, what do you have going on this weekend?”
Worker 2: “ Oh not much just going to the beach, chores, doing some work; you?”
Worker 1: “Oh you are not going to the company party?”
Worker 2: “…..(PAUSE) what party?”
When you start not knowing office shit, start knowing a recruiter; because your days are numbered.
1 comment:
When I log into this one particular system at work, it asks me, "Are you still an Executive Team Leader?" I always think to myself, "I hope so."
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