The funny thing aobut my job is the immense amount of hate I get just for being me. I guess it is that whole being young and smart thing. I often don't speak unless I know what I am talking avout and when i do, well it is often wrapped in a nice little package so I get my fair share of haters. Today I met (again) with the Queen Bee of the Hate Hive, and well I had to smoke her out.
Here is the history on her. She is crazy. History lesson over. Really, in all seriousness, she is a mess. All she does is prey on the fact that if she is difficult enough to deal with people will stop talking to her and just let her slip on all her responsiilities. Uh SIKE!!! Not me, you get paid to do a job, so guess what? I am headed over index cards in hand to get a status on what? You doing your job. BOOM!!
It all started yesterday when I got wind that she had told people in her Bureau that I was 'unpolished'. Of course once I got the news I had to inquire, and this is what transpired with two of her minions:
- me: uhmm, what is up with your girl?
- minion 1: she did not mean anything by it... (notice i did not have to even say to what i was speaking)
- me: did not mean anything by calling me unpolished?
- minion 2: she is jus that way?
- me: what way is that?
- minion 1&2: shrug shoulders
- me: i am not going to fret over her today, see you all tomorrow
Now tomorrow is here, it is...well today, and today I get an email this morning from Queen Bee adding all this shit to my agenda. Let me restate this, 'she' added 'shit' to my 'agenda', and then at the end said this 'I hope this does not mess up your well rehearsed delivery'...My thoughts were as follows... OH.(pause) HELL.(pause) NO.(pause) -- this bitch has definitely bumped her head.
Two things:
#1 - Don't hate me because I get my shit D.O.N.E.
#2 - You are not worth rehearsing, I have a gift. You better recognize!
Enter 1515 EST, Queen Bee's Makeshift Office: In attendance 3 important people, 1 really important person, Queen Bee, and me
- me: here is my assessment of the information we recieved from you since the last update
- Queen Bee: i will look at it later, what I want to talk about is (interrupted)
Sidebar: This is MY meeting, MY bi-weekly meeting with this bag of mess, so she does not get to dictate anything, but apparently no one had informed her that I was hip to her fiasco
- me: unless what you want to talk about is this update, we will need to table it today
- Queen Bee: (a little off-guard) well I just thought it would be beneficial to (interrupted again)
Sidebar: The key to knocking a raggedy bitch down is mastering the art of polite interruption.
- me: let me stress this, you are behind on this project so unless what you want to talk about, which is apparently outside of these (*i hold up the agenda) agenda items, is about this project; which is what this (*cue me holding up agenda again) agenda is all about, we will need to table it
Sidebar: It took a shorter amount of time than I had thought to get to the 'witching hour' with her...'withcing hour' the time at which the true witch comes out. I felt I did not have anything to lose and well the other people in the room were eatin it up. Oh, and did I mention she has a penchant for eye/neck rolling and pointing, uh not just no. but HELL NO. She breaks.
- Queen Bee: i am not behind.... in fact if we are behind it is your fault, you have not kept us abreast of deadlines... (interrupted)
- me: my fault? first, when i interited this now 10 year old project you, the project manager, had no project schedule, second, you had no idea of resource burn rate or what people were working on, lastly you told me that your only concern was that you were not made to look bad. Enter me; i procured you a staff, executive support, and everything you need; and trust me you are all the better for it.
- Queen Bee: that is not what i meant (rather defiant)
- me: well then, what did you mean? In fact don't answer that... let's move on ...
The next 35 minutes fly by with her talking about how she cannot get this or that done because of that or this, all the while the important people and very important person in the room are just eating up the excuses and taking them in. I finally had had enough. I had to slam the book on the table and wake up the room.
- me: so are you telling me that you cannot get this done, or that you are unwilling to get this done?
- Queen Bee: (again disheveled) what I am saying is these are the obstacles to getting this done (interrupted)
- me: are the obstacles new? are they different than when we first met, or when this started 10 years ago?
- Queen Bee: no.
- me: so what is the issue, there is one constant here, and that is 'you' not your team, not funding, but 'you'; so if there is an issue you must be very close to it, because, well, you have been here so long
- Queen Bee: (mad as hell) you, are not being respectful...(interrupted)
- me: (with a slight smile) ma'am you are not in a position to give me advice on respect, you have continually mislead me on the progress of this project, when if fact this has gone no where, even while I have gotten you everything you requested.
- Queen Bee: well what you don't understand is that when I request of you and your staff too....(interrupted)
- me: excuse me, but what you don't understand is while this may be your office, and this may be your staff (*pointing around to her peeps)(interrupted)
- Queen Bee: wait a minute you... (pointing at me)
- me: (interrupting her) I am not sure what you are about to say but it cannot be important enough that it allows you to point at me. furthermore, let's get something understood I don't take direction from you, in fact this relationship is quite the opposite, you are obliged to do what you are told to do, told by me. so I would suggest our next meeting be much more productive; in fact I would just be okay with it being productive.
1 comment:
Damn, and all this before 8am? Let me know when it's take your friend to work day, I would love to see the smoldering crater of that ego
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