In a nutshell, new music is not shit. For whatever reason I cannot focus on work today J So I was just perusing YouTube and I came across of Miss Tina Turner WORKING IT !!! They just don’t do shit like that anymore. Now there are definitely people who can work it. I mean Beyonce is nice, Mary J can work, but none of them do it like Tina. Tina Turner works that shit for 8 straight minutes in Proud Mary. It is not so much the time that is the factor. It is the fact that she is singing, dancing, and most importantly keeping her wig on the whole damn time. I wanna see Rihanna do that shit.
I wanna see any of these trifling hoes do what Tina did. (Yes, I called them trifling hoes, that does not make me Don Imus) Tina was working so damn hard because she never knew when Ike was going to kill her ass. She danced the last dance EVERY night, and every night she worked that shit like the 3rd shift at Denny’s.
Now, I have to bring this up; one of my best girlfriends and her beau went to a wedding this past weekend. At the wedding there was entertainment, superstar entertainment. None other than Bobby Brown’s vocal coach. Stop and reread that shit. It makes you want to do drugs doesn’t it? Who in the hell hired this raggedy shit? Bobby Brown’s vocal coach? I never knew the muthafuckah had one. Muthafuckah for WHAT? Muthafuckah WHY?
I mean how does he introduce himself? “Hi I am Limpie McDickins, I was Bobby Brown’s vocal coach, but now I do weddings” Let me ask the audience is that a step up or a step down? I am not sure. More than that, saying you are Bobby Brown’s vocal coach is like saying you are Amy Winehouse’s Narcotics Anonymous sponsor; in other words you ‘aint done shit’ and that shit is just not cute. PERIOD.
Enjoy Miss Tina... that wig bitch!! WHAT!!!???!!!
Hygeine…
You need to shower before you roll back up in here…
Some people need to go get re-raised by my grandmother. My grandmother is the single reason I am so ashy today. My skin is so dry it doubles for the desert in feature films. She would make me shower when I thought about dirt, then after all that I had to take a bath before bed. All-in-all there were about 3-4 water sessions a day.
That said there are people who workout at lunch and do not shower before they come back. Just so you know… that is NASTY as hell. Period. No debate. You should not work out if you cannot bathe. That makes you a nasty hoe. No one wants to smell gym sweat in the middle of a damn meeting. That’s all..
The Ugly Bitch…
I am not one to follow pop culture but I love to see trash come up. For example Miss Britney Spears, ”Hottie” from Flavor of Love, and Shania Twain. Now I hope you all have heard about Shania’s man getting stolen by her best friend for many years. The problem for me was the Shania did not see it coming. The friend is ugly, that should have been the warning sign.
Here is the thing, straight girls heed this shit like a Tampax Pearl. You don’t need to worry about your best friend or your “hot” friend you need to worry about that ugly friend. That is the dangerous bitch in the crowd. Trust that bitch will be the Delilah to your man’s Sampson.
“Why watch for the ugly bitch?”, Five easy words…. SHE HAS NOTHING TO LOSE… An ugly homely bitch is ugly and homely and she know’s she is ugly and homely, so watch that hoe like you watch a skin rash because trust me she will spread her legs as fast as that rash will spread across your back.
--- DON’T BELIVE THE HYPE ----
Women are more shady than men. TRUST ME!!! I have cavorted with more partially or fully committed women than Wilt Chamberlain (and I am GAY!!). They are shady!! But their shade is often secret shade because women can keep a damn secret, men—you see men have to brag it is part of the male ego. Women, not so much. They just need the kitty to be pet occasionally and they are set.
So ladies take heed. That ugly friend you have that is tight with you and your man… spray that bitch with Deep Woods Off and give her an umbrella to let her know that you are aware of the shade she brings with her.
Trust me on that one.
No comments:
Post a Comment